The breast cancer journey is filled with decisions, doctor visits, tests, treatments, medications, side effects, and stress. Below are some tips to help a woman newly diagnosed with breast cancer take control of this overwhelming experience.
Four Tips for Organizing Your Journey
1. Request copies of all your cancer treatment records and set up a personal medical file. Your file may include lab tests, pathology reports, x-ray results, prescription regimen, and follow-up care instructions. Over time, it's easy to forget when you were treated, who treated you, and what kind of drugs you were given.
2. Buy a journal to organize your thoughts, take notes, and document your experience. Some days you may feel like writing in your journal and other days you won't. Don't worry about the entries being sparse; even a few notes can help you remember important emotions or milestones. Keeping a journal can be a great defense against feeling overwhelmed or afraid.
3. Use a directory to maintain personal and medical team information so it will be handy when needed. A directory is a good place to organize information such as physician names, office addresses, phone numbers, and email addresses for people you need to call in an emergency. You can also use the directory to record insurance policy information, contact names, and numbers.
4. Keep track of all of your doctor's appointments, treatment dates, medicine doses, work schedule, and social activities in one calendar. In addition to recording your upcoming appointments, you may want to describe how you feel from one day to the next. This information will help you and your doctor find ways to make you more comfortable.
Staying organized during your cancer experience will help you stay calm and in control and will give you the order needed to focus your energy on becoming well.
About the Author:
Kim Regenhard is a breast cancer survivor. In spring of 1998, Kim Regenhard discovered a lump in her breast. When tests confirmed the lump was cancerous, Kim felt her world had been turned upside down. Although shocked and scared, Kim quickly decided her best strategy would be to remain positive, active and to educate herself about the disease.
Now cancer free, Kim has used her skills and experience to develop a tool that will help others navigate the physical and emotional course of cancer. With the help of other breast cancer survivors, Kim has created A Survivor's Guide for the Breast Cancer Journey, a gift from those who have walked and survived the breast cancer journey to those who find themselves taking the first steps.
Thursday, August 7, 2008
Breast Cancer Symptoms - Five Warning Signs
What You Don't Want to Hear
"You have breast cancer" are words that can put fear into anyone's heart, and knowing breast cancer symptoms may help save your life. Women should follow their doctors recommendations regarding mammograms. Early detection of breast cancer means more treatment options and a better chance of cure.
What to Look For
While often breast lumps aren't cancerous, the most common sign of breast cancer, for both men and women, is usually a thickening or lump in the breast. Generally, early breast cancer does not cause pain. Five warning signs include:
A change in the size or contours of your breast
Any flattening or indentation of the skin over your breast
A spontaneous clear or bloody discharge from your nipple, often associated with a breast lump
Retraction or indentation of your nipple
Redness or pitting of the skin over your breast, like the skin of an orange
A change in size or feel of your breast can be caused by a number of conditions other than breast cancer. Pregnancy and your menstrual cycle naturally changes breast tissue during that time. Fibrocystic changes, cysts, fibroadenomas, infection or injury are other possible causes of noncancerous (benign) breast changes.
What Reduces Risk
Two molecules, touted as "miracle molecules", help reduce the risk of breast cancer. These molecules are Resveratrol and Ellagic Acid. A great source of these comes from grapes (red wine) and pomegranates. Supplementing your diet with these antioxidant molecules can have a significant effect on your chances of hearing those words "you have breast cancer".
"You have breast cancer" are words that can put fear into anyone's heart, and knowing breast cancer symptoms may help save your life. Women should follow their doctors recommendations regarding mammograms. Early detection of breast cancer means more treatment options and a better chance of cure.
What to Look For
While often breast lumps aren't cancerous, the most common sign of breast cancer, for both men and women, is usually a thickening or lump in the breast. Generally, early breast cancer does not cause pain. Five warning signs include:
A change in the size or contours of your breast
Any flattening or indentation of the skin over your breast
A spontaneous clear or bloody discharge from your nipple, often associated with a breast lump
Retraction or indentation of your nipple
Redness or pitting of the skin over your breast, like the skin of an orange
A change in size or feel of your breast can be caused by a number of conditions other than breast cancer. Pregnancy and your menstrual cycle naturally changes breast tissue during that time. Fibrocystic changes, cysts, fibroadenomas, infection or injury are other possible causes of noncancerous (benign) breast changes.
What Reduces Risk
Two molecules, touted as "miracle molecules", help reduce the risk of breast cancer. These molecules are Resveratrol and Ellagic Acid. A great source of these comes from grapes (red wine) and pomegranates. Supplementing your diet with these antioxidant molecules can have a significant effect on your chances of hearing those words "you have breast cancer".
Breast Cancer Facts - You Should Know the Symptoms of Breast Cancer
Breast Cancer Facts Breast cancer is malignant cells formed in the tissues of the breast. The disease is predominantly found in women, and is much more aggressive in younger women, but it can also be found in men too. The disease is different from woman to woman and age to age, which is considered a heterogeneous disease.
Symptoms of Breast Cancer A number of conditions, other than breast cancer, can cause a change in size or feel of your breast. Fibrocystic changes, cysts, fibroadenomas, infection or injury are possible causes of non-cancerous (benign) breast changes, but more commonly, changes in breast tissue happen naturally during pregnancy and your menstrual cycle. Symptoms include:
Redness or pitting of the skin over your breast, like the skin of an orange
A spontaneous clear or bloody discharge from your nipple, often associated with a breast lump
A change in the size or contours of your breast
Any flattening or indentation of the skin over your breast
Retraction or indentation of your nipple
Generally, early breast cancer does not cause pain, and often breast lumps aren't cancerous, but the most common sign of breast cancer, for both men and women, is usually a thickening or lump in the breast.
Some Risk Factors Associated with Breast Cancer The exact causes of breast cancer are unclear, but we know the main risk factors. Among the most significant factors are advancing age and a family history of breast cancer. Generally, women over 50 are more likely to get breast cancer than younger women, and African-American women are more likely than Caucasians to get breast cancer before menopause. Early onset of menstruation, before 12 years of age, as well as late menopause, after age 55, increase risk. Many studies have shown that women whose diets are high in fat are more likely to get the disease. Alcohol consumption in quantities more than two drinks daily increases risk.
Preventative Measures Men and women can reduce their risk of getting breast cancer by reducing the amount of fat in their diets. They can also limit the amount of alcohol they consume. Studies are showing that the nutrient Resveratrol, may play a factor in preventing breast cancer. Resveratrol, a naturally occurring antioxidant, can be found in in the skins of red grapes, red wine, and red or purple grape juice. Since red wine is a dietary source of Resveratrol and is an alcoholic beverage, a dietary supplement with Resveratrol is a better choice.
Symptoms of Breast Cancer A number of conditions, other than breast cancer, can cause a change in size or feel of your breast. Fibrocystic changes, cysts, fibroadenomas, infection or injury are possible causes of non-cancerous (benign) breast changes, but more commonly, changes in breast tissue happen naturally during pregnancy and your menstrual cycle. Symptoms include:
Redness or pitting of the skin over your breast, like the skin of an orange
A spontaneous clear or bloody discharge from your nipple, often associated with a breast lump
A change in the size or contours of your breast
Any flattening or indentation of the skin over your breast
Retraction or indentation of your nipple
Generally, early breast cancer does not cause pain, and often breast lumps aren't cancerous, but the most common sign of breast cancer, for both men and women, is usually a thickening or lump in the breast.
Some Risk Factors Associated with Breast Cancer The exact causes of breast cancer are unclear, but we know the main risk factors. Among the most significant factors are advancing age and a family history of breast cancer. Generally, women over 50 are more likely to get breast cancer than younger women, and African-American women are more likely than Caucasians to get breast cancer before menopause. Early onset of menstruation, before 12 years of age, as well as late menopause, after age 55, increase risk. Many studies have shown that women whose diets are high in fat are more likely to get the disease. Alcohol consumption in quantities more than two drinks daily increases risk.
Preventative Measures Men and women can reduce their risk of getting breast cancer by reducing the amount of fat in their diets. They can also limit the amount of alcohol they consume. Studies are showing that the nutrient Resveratrol, may play a factor in preventing breast cancer. Resveratrol, a naturally occurring antioxidant, can be found in in the skins of red grapes, red wine, and red or purple grape juice. Since red wine is a dietary source of Resveratrol and is an alcoholic beverage, a dietary supplement with Resveratrol is a better choice.
Top 4 Major Factors of Breast Cancer in Young Women
Breast cancer is the most common cancer in women; more and more young women are suffering from breast cancer. There are 4 major factors leading to breast cancer.
1. The Change In Hormone Levels
More and more young women are suffering from breast cancer. As a medical point of view, the age of incidence of breast cancer is becoming younger, mainly because of urban lifestyle changes.
Environmental pollution, food contamination, the tense psychological pressure, the change in hormone levels and some other man-made factors have led to the increase in risk of breast cancer in young women.
2. Too Much Spiritual Pressure
One of the important factors lead to breast cancer is related to mental stress. Many people today face more competitions, and loss the natural way of life. Usually work overtime in the evening, drink more coffee, smoking, eat more genetically modified food, etc.
3. Late Marriage, Postponement Of Childbearing And Less Breast-feeding
Epidemiological statistics show that late marriage, late childbearing, less breast-feeding is a negative factor to women. However, it is not very sure whether this is a real risk of breast cancer incidence. We recommend women bear naturally in the age for fertility.
The breast will proliferate after women bear. If there is no breast-feeding, it is unfavorable to the baby health, on the other hand it is negative to the natural cycle of women. Breast-feeding can reduce the risk of breast cancer.
4. Breast Enlargement Products Containing Excessive Hormones
If there contains unhealthy or excessive hormone in breast enlargement products, it must be unfavorable to breast.
1. The Change In Hormone Levels
More and more young women are suffering from breast cancer. As a medical point of view, the age of incidence of breast cancer is becoming younger, mainly because of urban lifestyle changes.
Environmental pollution, food contamination, the tense psychological pressure, the change in hormone levels and some other man-made factors have led to the increase in risk of breast cancer in young women.
2. Too Much Spiritual Pressure
One of the important factors lead to breast cancer is related to mental stress. Many people today face more competitions, and loss the natural way of life. Usually work overtime in the evening, drink more coffee, smoking, eat more genetically modified food, etc.
3. Late Marriage, Postponement Of Childbearing And Less Breast-feeding
Epidemiological statistics show that late marriage, late childbearing, less breast-feeding is a negative factor to women. However, it is not very sure whether this is a real risk of breast cancer incidence. We recommend women bear naturally in the age for fertility.
The breast will proliferate after women bear. If there is no breast-feeding, it is unfavorable to the baby health, on the other hand it is negative to the natural cycle of women. Breast-feeding can reduce the risk of breast cancer.
4. Breast Enlargement Products Containing Excessive Hormones
If there contains unhealthy or excessive hormone in breast enlargement products, it must be unfavorable to breast.
Check it Out - Breast Cancer
Breast cancer is the cancer that embraces the company of cancerous cells within the breast. Although it can be present in both sexes but is more typically present amongst the females. The milieu for the presence of this deadly disease in men and women are dissimilar. As far as the women are concerned in that case the cells of the cancer are exist in the breast and might reveal it-self in the form of protuberance in the breast or the armpits. Depending upon the different category it can fundamentally be classified as either commencement or malignant.
The reason for the growth of this disease is usually hereditary. If a person has a history of ancestor who endures from this disease then such a person is more at threat than the average folks. In this case if any unusual lumps are observed they should be reported to the doctor right away. Yearly checkup and conventional self examinations are also viable. The indicators not only include the presence of lumps but may also be escorted by changes in the appearance of the effected breast. Pain is also common but may not present itself until the disease has progressed to a later stage.
A mammogram is conducted for this purpose and if the result of the mammogram is positive then in that case instant treatment should be sought. The options for that vary. Surgery is generally sought way. It mainly involves the amputation of the effected tissue/area and the area that is likely turn out to be malignant in the future; without the cutting of the connective tissues.
For lowering the threat, regular exercise is recommended. Quite a lot of studies have been conducted to date and numerous are ongoing. If someone has been diagnosed he/she should conduct a thorough examination of this disease before opting for a particular treatment.
Sarfaraz was born and raised in Karachi, Pakistan, surrounded by traffic and technology. He writes mostly about diseases, the storybooks, futuristic columns, mysteries, as he likes to call it. He enjoys writing for web.
He wrote his first book (The Black Bodyguard of Stone-Pyramid) in 2003 and since then has provided the picture for 1 more title. His book was honored as a BEST SELLER.
Sarfaraz currently lives with his wife in Karachi near Seashore, about fifteen miles from the house where he was born.
The reason for the growth of this disease is usually hereditary. If a person has a history of ancestor who endures from this disease then such a person is more at threat than the average folks. In this case if any unusual lumps are observed they should be reported to the doctor right away. Yearly checkup and conventional self examinations are also viable. The indicators not only include the presence of lumps but may also be escorted by changes in the appearance of the effected breast. Pain is also common but may not present itself until the disease has progressed to a later stage.
A mammogram is conducted for this purpose and if the result of the mammogram is positive then in that case instant treatment should be sought. The options for that vary. Surgery is generally sought way. It mainly involves the amputation of the effected tissue/area and the area that is likely turn out to be malignant in the future; without the cutting of the connective tissues.
For lowering the threat, regular exercise is recommended. Quite a lot of studies have been conducted to date and numerous are ongoing. If someone has been diagnosed he/she should conduct a thorough examination of this disease before opting for a particular treatment.
Sarfaraz was born and raised in Karachi, Pakistan, surrounded by traffic and technology. He writes mostly about diseases, the storybooks, futuristic columns, mysteries, as he likes to call it. He enjoys writing for web.
He wrote his first book (The Black Bodyguard of Stone-Pyramid) in 2003 and since then has provided the picture for 1 more title. His book was honored as a BEST SELLER.
Sarfaraz currently lives with his wife in Karachi near Seashore, about fifteen miles from the house where he was born.
Breast Cancer - Signs and Treatment
Frequently asked questions about breast cancer are the following: What age does a breast cancer be diagnosed to woman? What are the signs and symptoms of it? Can it be treated?
Breast cancer is one of the leading cancers that strikes women aside form cervix cancer. This is not frequently diagnosed to women aged 29 and below. It usually women aged 35 above that shows signs of breast cancer. Most of the time cancer like this almost had no symptoms. There is a high percentage that a woman can have breast cancer in the future, if she belongs to a family that has a history of cancer, especially from the first degree like her mother or aunt, sister or first cousins.
The possibilities of malignancy is very high for women who have been diagnosed on her other breast or if her family has a history of this kind. Or woman who already had breast cancer. If your suspecting that you may have breast cancer, you must see these signs and findings:
* If you can feel any lump in your breast that is unclear of the shape and it seems like a small crab size. * If you can feel any lump in your armpits. * If there are changes in the appearance of your nipple. * If your breast is swollen and your skin look like orange skin.
Physical examination of the breast is one way to find breast cancer. But even if you have one or more of these signs, it still doesn't mean you have breast cancer. Remember that most breast lumps turn out to be benign (not cancerous). So no need to worry so the best thing you can do right now is to see a doctor
Now, if the breast cancer is in the advance stage the moment it was diagnosed. A combination of operation and radiation is needed. Radiation therapy is use to kill those cancer cells that may still be left in the body after an operation.
Breast cancer is one of the leading cancers that strikes women aside form cervix cancer. This is not frequently diagnosed to women aged 29 and below. It usually women aged 35 above that shows signs of breast cancer. Most of the time cancer like this almost had no symptoms. There is a high percentage that a woman can have breast cancer in the future, if she belongs to a family that has a history of cancer, especially from the first degree like her mother or aunt, sister or first cousins.
The possibilities of malignancy is very high for women who have been diagnosed on her other breast or if her family has a history of this kind. Or woman who already had breast cancer. If your suspecting that you may have breast cancer, you must see these signs and findings:
* If you can feel any lump in your breast that is unclear of the shape and it seems like a small crab size. * If you can feel any lump in your armpits. * If there are changes in the appearance of your nipple. * If your breast is swollen and your skin look like orange skin.
Physical examination of the breast is one way to find breast cancer. But even if you have one or more of these signs, it still doesn't mean you have breast cancer. Remember that most breast lumps turn out to be benign (not cancerous). So no need to worry so the best thing you can do right now is to see a doctor
Now, if the breast cancer is in the advance stage the moment it was diagnosed. A combination of operation and radiation is needed. Radiation therapy is use to kill those cancer cells that may still be left in the body after an operation.
Breast Cancer,Tamoxifen and Hair Loss "One Woman's Solution!"
On what should have been a beautiful late spring day two years ago, soon turned into tragedy for two women (Helen and Denise) in their early 40's when they both were diagnosed with invasive- hormone-receptor-positive breast cancer.They were very much alike, these two women. Both were happily married. Both had three children and both held down full time jobs. They were two bright and ambitious women who without realizing it, entered into a bond on that numbing, spring afternoon.
Both underwent several lymph node removals and a lumpectomy. Both endured the effects of 6 weeks of radiation therapy. Neither had to endure the grueling effects of chemotherapy. Both were determined to beat this monster that had invaded their bodies. Both bonded as close friends and when the feelings of hopelessness began to creep into their thoughts they had each other as confidants to lift up their spirits. They stood together, without ever having to alarm their families of their inner fears that their cancer would return.
With the conclusion of their treatments they both resumed their everyday routines and tried to reclaim a sense of normalcy back into their lives. They both were prescribed Tamoxifen for the next five years. Tamoxifen is very effective in preventing reoccurrence in invasive hormone-receptor-positive breast cancer. Unknown to Denise, she was not yet finished with the challenges that this demon called cancer forced her to face.
Although, Tamoxifen does have some side effects it is relatively safe and thousands upon thousands of women take it daily without experiencing any side effects at all. Helen scarcely noticed any changes while taking the drug. She returned to work part-time at first, but quickly resumed her role as wife, mother and full time employee. One would scarcely believe that she had ever undergone cancer treatments and she glowed once again with signs of good health.
Denise on the other hand didn't fair quite as well. She noticed immediately that her hair was starting to fall out. Sometimes averaging 200 strands a day. After two weeks of being on Tamoxifen and experiencing this rapid hair loss she was seriously considering discontinuing its use. The radiation therapy that was used to spare her life had left her tired and listless. Tamoxifen that was used to prevent the cancer from returning, was thinning her hair and most of all destroying her self esteem.
She researched the prescription medication Rogaine, but found the chemical name (minoxidil) had side effects as well. Rogaine was also very expensive and time consuming. She had contemplated ovary removal. Her reasoning being, she was positive that her family was complete. She quickly dismissed that thought not wanting to undergo anymore surgeries.
She then looked into Aromasin an FDA approved aromatase inhibitor. Aromasin was given to women with early stage disease, but who had already undergone 2 to 3 years of Tamoxifen. The next inhibitor that she looked into was Femara. Although, FDA approved for early stage breast cancer she needed to have completed 5 years of Tamoxifen. The third inhibitor was called Ariminex. This is given to patients with early stage disease and directly after surgery. After discussing this with her Doctor, she immediately switched from Tamoxifen to Ariminex.
Hair loss was the primary reason Denise switched from Tamoxifen to Ariminex. She had no other side effects with this drug, but as vanity would have it she just didn't want to become bald. After taking Ariminex for just under four months she realized that she had traded one cosmetic side effect for another that was physical. Denise was still experiencing slight hair loss, but was now suffering from excruciating joint pain.
Her Doctor explained that by taking Tamoxifen, her continuing hair loss just might have been caused by the drug giving her a nudge into menopause. Women who enter menopause, because of the lower estrogen sometime experience hair loss. He also explained that everyone's tolerance was different for these drugs and he could prescribe Femara for her instead of Ariminex. By this time Denise was taking extended release Tramadol for joint pain and felt exhausted and defeated. She was still not capable of returning to work, even though it had been almost a year since she had been first diagnosed with breast cancer.
Financially Denise and her family were barely making ends meet. Without her much needed paycheck, the household bills were accumulating. Her once vibrant marriage was suffering and the talk of their separation was only silenced by the tears in their children's eyes. In one year everything she and her family had worked for appeared ready to come crashing down!
Denise was still contemplating whether she should begin taking Femara or stop taking all drugs altogether.
That morning she received a phone call that would change her life. It was Helen. Her confidant through the worst of times had called to find out how she was doing. It wasn't long before Denise's emotions came spilling out. Through tears and laughter Helen and Denise were once again reunited, and Denise was no longer fighting this battle, seemingly alone.
Helen who did and continues to work in the organic and natural food business, was saddened that Denise had not confided in her earlier on her struggles. She was delighted with the thought that she may be able to help her ailing friend.
Upon hearing Denise's story it was clear to Helen that the only side effect that Helen's brief taking of Tamoxifen had was hair loss. Because of those two simple four letter words (hair loss) the past year for Denise and her family had turned into a roller coaster of spiraling downward turns.
After a very long in depth discussions with Helen, Denise decided to take her advice and begin taking Shen Min. Shen Min is an herbal product that has literally changed Denise's life. She discontinued Ariminex, and immediately felt a difference with her joints.She was then able to discontinue the use of Tramadol for joint pain, because she no longer suffered pain. She chose not to begin taking Femara, but instead decided to resume taking Tamoxifen, since other then hair loss there were no other side effects.
As Helen explained it to Denise, the Shen Min Advanced Formula for Women was actually extending her hairs growth phase, therefore reducing the amount of hairs that were in the resting and fallout phase. This herbal supplement had no side effect and the results were noticed within a month. It seemed like such a simple solution, yet Denise had suffered miserably for almost a year, by taking medications that lead to side effects without realizing that there are natural products that can be taken with conventional medication.
Helen's introducing Denise to Shen Min literally changed her life. She is doing very well on Tamoxifen with no side effects. Her hair loss is at an acceptable normal rate and she is now back to work full time. She is no longer on any pain medications and her marriage is becoming stronger and back on the right track.
Although, this cancer/hair loss story does get somewhat complicated, it is insightful. If Denise had known about Shen Min when she first started on Tamoxifen she would have spared herself months of suffering with severe joint pain because of the Ariminex. Although aromatase inhibitor Ariminex is side effect free for the majority of its prescribed patients, Denise's body for what ever reasons was unable to tolerate this medication.
The bottom line is that there is help for anyone who has unwanted hair loss. Shen Min has natural products consisting of capsules, topical formula's and even herbal shampoo's that can help hair loss in both men and women. If you or someone you know is suffering from hair loss, even if it is through genetics Shen Min just might be your answer to thinning hair.
Fight Like a Girl - Share Our Stories, Share Our Strengths
Traveling while working in Colorado this summer I got to renew my relationship with some high school friends. I was in Kris & Steve's wedding, we were inseparable in high school. Aside from yearly Christmas letter exchanges and a few reunion rendezvous back home in San Diego over the years, we were off living our own lives. I am questioning how that happens, that we become disconnected and also realizing that in the growing and changing, perhaps it is inevitable that we need to go in our own directions for a time. I am sensing another "book" just on this ebb and flow of relationships but won't diverge down that road right now. I had no idea at the time how the impact of what seemed like a chance connection, would continue to grow. We had a great couple of days spent catching up and feeling like there had not been this distance of some 20 years since our last face to face. Kris has always been, in my mind, an "akuna matada" kind of gal. I don't think she would argue with me in saying that she has always been easy going, content to be an Indian, never aspiring to be the chief. Don't be mislead, this is not say that she is or was a pushover, she's just... Kris. Fun, easy to be with, interesting and interested but not one that you'd find at the front of a picket line, she is a kind of anti-drama Queen, if you will. Kris was diagnosed with breast cancer several months ago and opted for a radical route; both breasts were removed. When a well meaning friend compassionately expressed her sorrow at her loss, Kris's attitude was a straight forward, resounding, "heck they served their use and there is something wrong with them, what do I want to hold onto them for?" We all do and say what we can. The community outreach has been astounding.
Both she and Steve have spent their working lives in the respective elementary school's where Steve is a Principal and Kris works in administration. Between their two schools, the organization of meal deliveries and support has and continues to be an awesome thing to behold. Karma at its best. They have given a lot to their community and it is being returned twofold. The numbers of women who have and are intimately involved with this "fight" seem to come out of the woodwork. This is a disease that is truly at epic proportions, simply mention the words, "breast cancer," and listen to the stories unfold.
This disease touches every single one of us. A good reason to stand at the front of some picket line, I am just not sure quite yet where that line is, but you can bet I 'll be the one up at the front when I find it. In the meantime, there is something we can all do. Please add www.thebreastcancersite.com to your favorites and click to give free mammograms. It is free, it is easy, make it a part of your daily routine. After her first chemotherapy session she called for a party to shave her head. Kris sent me "the photo" this week. She is calling herself "GI Kristina Jane." She takes my breath away. I cried until there were no tears left. I'd been slammed straight in the gut with the cold hard reality that my friend is un-deniably, no way around it, battling cancer. As I find my breath again I am so struck by her clear and present beauty. I want to say it is her eyes, or maybe her smile, her radiant face that is now un-obscured with hair and I know that's not it. It is simply her presence. And she is present, meeting this disease on her terms, with a tenacity that I would put up against Demi Moore's character of GI Jane any day.
The story goes; a daughter visits her mother, she is distraught with how her life is going, she is tired of fighting and struggling and is ready to give up. Her mother takes her into the kitchen and proceeds to fill three pots with water, placing them each on a high flame. As the pots come to a boil she places carrots in the first, eggs in the second and coffee beans in the last. Without saying a word they sit and watch them boil. After 20 minutes, her mother shuts the stove off. She fishes the carrots out and places them in a bowl. She does the same with the eggs and then ladles the coffee into its own bowl. She turns to her daughter and says "tell me what you see?" A little confused she says, "carrots, eggs and coffee." At this point, she brings the bowls closer to her, and asks her to "feel" the carrots, which she notes are soft. The mother then asks the daughter to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observes the hard-boiled egg.
Finally, the mother asks the daughter to sip the coffee. The daughter, smiling as she tastes its rich aroma asks, "What does it mean, mother?" Her mother explains that each of these objects had faced the same adversity: boiling water. Each reacted differently. The carrot went in strong, hard, and unrelenting. However, after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak. The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior, but after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened. The ground coffee beans were unique, however. After they were in the boiling water, they had changed the water.
"Which are you?" she asked her daughter. "When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?
Think of this: Which am I? Am I the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength?
Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with the heat? Did I have a fluid spirit, but after a death, a breakup, a financial hardship or some other trial, have I become hardened and stiff? Does my shell look the same, but on the inside am I bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and hardened heart?
Or am I like the coffee bean? The bean actually changes the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain. When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavor. If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you get better and change the situation around you. When the hour is the darkest and trials are their greatest, do you elevate yourself to another level? How do you handle adversity? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean? I am still finding my way in and out of that hot water and I stand in awe as I have the honor and the distinct privilege of witnessing my friend Kris, be the coffee, sharing her story in how she is "fighting like a girl", giving all she's got and then some. As women, we share our strengths when we share our stories, allowing others to stand on our shoulders.
Please add your voice by helping to provide free mammograms. It is free, its easy, add the breast cancer site to your favorites and make it a part of your daily routine, click to give free mammograms.
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